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Thursday, June 25th, 2009
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Dear Americans,
You are not responsible enough to understand how your credit cards work. Your president* is forcing the card companies to do the math for you because you are not only too greedy to live within your means you are also too stupid to understand that the time it takes to pay off a credit card making minimum payments is probably longer than your life expectancy.
Also, if you live in San Francisco you can not be trusted to handle your own garbage and you better not try to own rental property. Instead you should pay for a service (trash removal) which you are then not allowed to make decisions about based on your own preferences**. Also, should you have the misfortune of renting property to people who can't pay their rent, live in a place that costs more than 1/3 their gross income, or lose their job you can't do anything about it, especially not if you yourself would like to live on the property. Because your ability to eat, pay your mortgage, or pay property tax in this bankrupt city doesn't matter cause you're not one of the struggling proletariat.
* Ok,I voted for him, the options weren't looking good, but I'm not voting for him again -- I come from the place where communism didn't work, if I wanted to make sure it didn't work I'd just read a history book.
** Yes, I actually do think that you should be able to throw things away instead of composting even if it kills the planet and makes kitties cry. I recycle, I compost, and I'd cheerfully watch other people get rebates on their trash bills or other perks for doing it more than I do, but who the fuck are you to look through my trash?!
Why do I see myself joining the free state movement in the next 5 years?
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Comments: Read 12 or Add Your Own.
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Today I got lost in Golden Gate park. If you ever wondered how all the hippies in America fit into that park, and I have, all it takes is 2 hours of looking for the exit to figure it out. You can lose an entire revolution and a few small villages in that park.
Today I also did a lot of some thinking (about two hours worth give or take some looking at maps). I pictured my ideal life. Not the best I can do under the circumstances, not the most likely, but the fantasy one. The one in which I can have purple butterfly wings and a million dollars if I want to. Turns out my fantasy life is not nearly as unrealistic and unattainable as purple butterfly wings and a million dollars (though if you think about it you really need one or the other and can make the other happen by having the first but that's besides the point). So I won't share all the details, cause, you know, it's my fantasy world and fantasies are precious things that much like stories are shy quiet beings, but I will share some:
In my fantasy life I do not have kids. Not in an angry I hate kids kind of way, more in a life is really full already kind of way. This shouldn't be surprising to me, but it was anyway.
I do have a job and it is not "housewife" or "working on my art." In my fantasy world I get to produce something that has an impact on other people's worlds and I get to do this in a young company surrounded by ridiculously smart people and while learning about and utilizing new technology. Think human factors engineer or usability specialist. And here I thought I always wanted to be a housewife.
In my fantasy world I live with a partner, but my fantasy brain has little to say on the subject of marriage. And because this is my fantasy and I can have purple butterfly wings, I also have a home with a yard and a goat. Yup, you heard me, a goat. Chickens too.
My fantasy world is in California. If you had asked me two years ago I would have said Germany, Netherlands, or maybe Israel.
and maybe this is where I'll stop...
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Almost over. Classes are in fact over. All I have left now is a presentation in front of There.com's creative director which I'm supper excited about and mostly ready for, and some work that's done but needs to be turned in.
It has been...interesting. Knowing what I know now I would have held out for another school. The CSU is screwed for budget reasons and the quality of instruction just isn't there. On the other hand I took two courses I didn't think I could manage and am getting A's in both of them. I didn't know that I was studying HCI before this semester either -- I just thought I wanted to use digital media for education. Turns out virtual worlds are kind of new and growing right now and it's an interesting field. Also turns out all that stuff I read about people researching how humans behave around computer and what that means for the future of computers is actual honest to god research and hey look it's actually part of my field and that rocks. So yeah, it is entirely possible that what I really need is a math tutor because I have some catching up to do.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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I am looking for a gig as a sex advice writer. I keep reading sex advice in every magazine, and lately news paper, I pick up but I can't figure out how those people got those jobs. So, anyone have any idea how to get one of those jobs? I'm published, I'm in the middle of getting trained as a sex educator, I have experience organizing sex-themed events and working for sex-themed publications so how do I get a job* answering people's sex-themed questions?
*Getting paid would be nice, but I am mostly looking for readership and clips at this point.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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I've been feeling extra Jewish lately. I think this is because Judaism, unlike perhaps some other religions, can be interpreted any way you like and still be fundamentally Jewish. In fact most of the religious texts are accounts of which rabbi argued with which other rabbi. It's actually kind of hard to say what makes me feel extra Jewish. I mean I haven't been counting the Omer, and I'm sure I've already mentioned the whole not believing in God thing. But I'm not kidding about how you can argue anything and make it Jewish. The Chabad site has a lovely blog post about how swine flu brings us closer to God. Why? Because infectious diseases remind us of the impact we have on our fellow man and of our obligation to care for this planet. (Confused yet? Refer to the order of creation, or maybe the giving of the torah?) I think I was cooking when I had my last moment of feeling absurdly Jewish which really explains everything. Or maybe it's the Israeli folk dancing?
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Thursday, April 30th, 2009
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I remember there was a time when I would go home at 4:59 and not have to come back until the next day and I wouldn't have to think about work. I knew what I had to do and it did not take nearly as many hours as I had to do it in. I had more money than I had need for, almost enough sleep, and no pressure to speak of.
...and I didn't love it nearly as much as I love this.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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...and I have just figured out loadmovie navigation. Grad school is awesome!
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, April 15th, 2009
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Somedays I notice just how my yoga practice helps me through the world. Today is one of those days...today I woke up from too little sleep and too much worry and was able to walk through the world with compassion and love for myself and everyone around me. I am incredibly grateful for these little moments when it works...
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Ok, so I was lame and didn't get tickets for the Yuri's night thing at the Academy of Sciences early enough and they are now sold out. Does anyone a) have extra tickets or b) know of other cool Yuri's night events I should go to?
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, March 31st, 2009
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I really should stop going on holiday...this is the 2nd time this year I've gone on a perfectly good holiday and couldn't wait to get home. The good news however is that I made it home, had some tea, and am about to crash. The only thing that can make homecoming better is a mission burrito.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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First night ceder
My house (SoMa, San Francisco)
Not actually kosher but with actual matza
There will be an orange on the ceder plate, and singing in Hebrew
There will not be talk of contemporary middle eastern politics where contemporary = after 100BC
RSVP by April 1st!
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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There are days when San Francisco takes my breath away. I am madly in love with this city. I can't begin to put into words how amazing living here has been and after more than a year I still have moments when I can't think about anything else. San Francisco is a place that takes you in. People told me that when I first moved -- that it was a good place to land.
Today I sat in a cafe in North Beach and then tromped through China Town before getting on a cable car to go home. The cable car went over the crest of on of those big hills and I was looking at the city bellow leading out to the bay and my breath caught in my throat. There is no where I'd rather be.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Friday, February 20th, 2009
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I was sitting around trying to plan dinner and thought about making pork chops with a honey glaze. I had an immediate negative reaction to this idea. Why? Cause somewhere into my maybe 4 year old brain was implanted the idea that pork is a dirty dry and flavorless meat that only people who live in slums and can't get anything better eat. That "knowledge" was then left to stew for the better parts of two decades before coming back to deter me from my dinner plans.
Can someone who has actually ever eaten a pork chop tell me if they are generally dry? I think I'm making lamb for dinner either way though.
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Comments: Read 13 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, February 12th, 2009
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[I found this in some files I was transferring and wanted the reminder]
• You will get older. You will get older and people will still tell you that you are too young and too naïve. It’s probably better if you stop listening to them now and not carry this baggage for much longer.
• In another year you will chop off your hair and you will be beautiful. I know you don’t believe me now. I know you think no one else will ever want to sleep with you, but in another few years you will be part of a sexual in-crowd you do not know exists yet.
• You don’t have to prove shit to anyone. The only reason you are fighting so hard to prove that you are independent is because you don’t believe it yet. Just you wait...you will jump off some pretty crazy edges and you will fly beautifully and you will have the confidence to walk through the world without asking permission.
• When he tells you he is HIV positive give him a hug. Don’t go off and feel sorry for yourself because you are going to lose him very soon and you will think of him every time you unwrap a condom so take advantage of the moments you have now. He is a beautiful person and you are fucking lucky to have met him.
• She is manipulating you. You are young and dumb. You think you can handle it but you can’t. Trust me, this isn’t worth it, you are pretty, and other people will want to sleep with you. This is not your only option.
• Call your mother. Yes, she is an alcoholic, and she is insane. Call her anyway. (Remember how I said the only reason you are fighting so hard is because you don’t believe it yourself just yet? You’ll get there. Also in five years Gregory will be you mother’s partner so be nice to him and compassionate to his wife when you meet them.)
• You are not a lesbian, and that’s ok. You will find a way to subvert the status quo while sucking cock, though not for 3 more years. Stop giving yourself grief for not being a good enough lesbian or a real feminist. It’s bullshit.
• All those hours you spend in a darkroom the size of a shoe closet will pay off. Photography is going to be really important to you really soon. It will open some magic doors and it will save your sanity.
• Hold on to the people who are important to you. You’re going through a lot, but you will need them…you will need these memories to live with too so please, please don’t throw away your journals.
• You have just started embracing the fact that you are a geek, and you’re on the right path. Soon you will find a community, and a style of geeking that fits you. You will go to cons and quote the Hitchhiker’s Guide. In the mean time take some hints from Miri, and steal her books.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Sunday, February 8th, 2009
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Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009
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I'm sitting outside wearing a tshirt, jeans and sandles, a little worried that I forgot sunscreen today. I love this city, I really do.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, January 27th, 2009
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I need access to Second Life for about two months for a class. I figured I'd ask around and see if anyone can get me a discount or trial before I go sign up...let me know.
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Comments: Read 10 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, January 24th, 2009
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Apparently a synagogue was firebombed and a 14 year old girl was beaten in France. There have also been reports of anti-Semitic violence in Belgium and Sweden.
If you read that and thought "what about Gaza" I offer you this: What if I firebomb a black church as a cry of outrage over Darfur, or to make it really personal as a cry of protest over the women who where stripped naked and beaten in Zulu controlled South Africa?
It doesn't matter if you live like a Jew or what you think about Gaza, when they come for the Jews you'll be up against the wall with the rest of them and so will I.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Yesterday I was walking though SoMa, essentially a warehouse district. I saw a flier posted on a telephone pole -- you know the kind run off on an inkjet printer or an antiquated copy machine and posted with a mixture of flour water and glue -- it was a sketch of Obama's face. Walking another half a block or so I saw the same image on the side of a building, one of the few brick buildings you find in San Francisco, painted larger than life in shades of red white and blue right there on the side of a building in the warehouse district.
Can we pause and think about this for a moment...this is the president of the United States of America, and he is being depicted in imagery normally reserved for leaders of underground movements and counter culture revolutions.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, January 23rd, 2009
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Will I see my boyfriend before summer? Will I see the other people I'm dating?
Will I get any writing done? Will I still enjoy it?
Where is my advisor!
Why didn't I go into a comp sci program? Why didn't I do science when I had the chance?! I hate being a girl! Will I be the only girl in my graduate level computer course?
Can I pay rent if my disbursement check gets lost in the mail? For how long? Ok so I can pay rent, but can I eat if my check gets lost?
Will I get a grant next semester? Have I missed the deadlines? Will I have time to go to the gym? Will I get enough sleep?
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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ragingamazon's journal
